Coined from a colloquial quip, "same same but different" is a Thai jargon used to highlight similarities while conceding to differences. Versatile as "mai pen rai," it can be summoned for conversations of everyday significance or for others with higher import. I use this now to reflect about myself and how I think I've changed over the past year while volunteering in Thailand.
I admit it's very hard to track the internal changes one goes through in a year, especially with a momentous experience such as this. If there is one thing I learned from my thesis, there is no use tracing change and transformation; they are deep and eternal. However, when I revisit myself from last year, I was nothing more than a bright-eyed fresh graduate, insulated by the amniotic bubble of Whitman College. Admittedly I didn't think I had enough time in college to commit a substantial amount of time for community projects. What I knew was limited to books and academia; I had little occasion to put theories into practice. While I deeply value my education, it was high time that I expanded and encouraged my learning in other ways, especially at a critical point after graduation.
I review my WorldTeach objectives written before my service and honestly, while it feels affirming to have volunteered and taught English at a village school, I think my students have done more for me, than I could have ever done for them. I went to Thailand hoping that I could make some lasting changes; instead I come home, humbled with lasting impressions. I went to Thailand to teach, and instead, I learned about myself.
WorldTeach. World. Teach. What a wonderful summary of my experience, although I read this now differently than I did when I first applied for the program. It is beautifully ironic that I remained a student while officially employed as a teacher. In my year in Thailand, I learned about the world, in global and local terms, and where I fit in both contexts. As I traveled to the other side of the Pacific, the expanse of my perspectives widened. Community service became the underlying motif of my experiences, tying them all together. I bore witness to the eternal spring of happiness located in work that is in service to others. I never expected how profound and rich this happiness can be, until I dedicated my work every day to serve the community.
As I lived a life modestly stripped of Western accoutrements, I found that I could adapt to a lifestyle that can thrive without the stronghold of advanced technology. Here in the States, the new gadgets of convenience strip away our uses of intelligence and strength and shrink our worlds to further insularity. I don't mean to indict the West of excesses, but the consumer culture is more apparent. We can live richly without extra baggage, especially when we also focus our culture towards enriching our local and global communities.
As for being a teacher, it would be a lie and a disservice to my work if I viewed it through rose-colored glasses and forget to acknowledge its challenges. While teaching the most adorable kids in the world has plenty of rewards, I quickly discovered aspects about my personality that I wanted to improve. I really learned, through the hard way, the value of patience, fortitude, humor, and the ability to frame things in a larger perspective rather than fixating. I learned that while papers can be rushed and written in a day, the things that count cannot be fixed nor finished easily (that includes myself!).
I come from this experience bursting with inspiration. I am inspired and humbled by service on an international level, I am inspired by the humble communities in Nakhon Phanom, and I am also inspired by my fellow WorldTeach volunteers, who have grown with me throughout our year of service. I am still the same person, but I have also grown in many different ways. Now that I am about to encounter the unknown, I know that this time I am armed with inspiration and an internal compass, fashioned from my volunteer experiences, pointing me to the right direction.
Thank you to all who have remained loyal readers of this blog. You have been a part of a wonderful and transformative adventure.
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