Merry Christmas!

It's my first Christmas away from home! A little sad, but there's plenty of holiday cheer here as well.

To my friends and family back home, and to my friends all over the world right now, a very Merry Christmas to you all. I hope that you are safe, sound, and best of all, happy.

Much love from Thailand,

Valerie

A typical day, is atypical.

I brought my camera to school last week just to take some quick snapshots of what it's like to be a teacher here. These were taken on a Friday, on random what I hoped were surreptitious occasions (turns out not really...) so they would at least look unceremonious and not contrived. Fail. I know I need to take more. But right now, I need something to occupy my time as I wait for "The Santa Clause" to load so I can show it to my students tomorrow, and I've exhausted my usual online pit stops (holla at yo' NPR). My students and I have been working on posting alphabet letters and expanding their weather vocabulary for the past weeks. I'm not sure what kind of success I will make, because it doesn't really help, that it's always sunny here in Thailand and I feel that, "It is sunny" will really be the only phrase they will be familiar with...

Here is a sample visual aid that we are slowly, but surely adding into the classroom. Note the white-outed "n" and the insertion of "U" on "cloudy." It so happens that at times, my kids will write the mirror images of the letters. It really is quite odd. We are working on accepting imperfections, which is very difficult mindset to depart from, so I told them repeatedly that there was no need to re-create the poster. The best part of this image, is the superimposed (in pink, I might add) "revisions" of such clouds. I am pretty impressed with their precocious transgressions of the literal. Good job students. You are such a nerd, Valerie. And yes, it is indeed a sheep.

This is probably the trouble kid in my classroom. I don't really know whether I was satisfying his perpetual need for attention when I took this picture, but. Too late.

My Thai-ny 1st graders ("good poets have a weakness for bad puns," in my defense.) They are literally half my size. I took this picture because they look so industrious, but this NEVER happens. Usually they're like comets flying around in a universe where gravity was invented by, I don't know, the cast of "The Hills"? We are currently working on numbers. There is a great article on the NYtimes on kids, brains and learning, by the way.

My super rambunctious 3rd and 4th graders. The only way to calm them down, is to practice numbers by making them do push-ups. Diabolical? Maybe. But it's good for kinesthetic learners...

Rowdy sixth graders. But by far, they are the most affectionate students ever. They keep wanting to shake my hands and they say "I love you teacher" all the time. :)

I am grateful that my job gives me enough variation every day that I don't get these existential crises of my life slipping away into the quotidian. I am grateful that what I do every day is affirming. Both of these get me through some murky waters.

heart of life is good

Currently approaching week 6 of no running water. I bet my karma points are just oozing; I can't wait to see what the universe has in store for me. However, this period of brushing my teeth out of a water bottle may end as soon as this weekend. I am really, really happy at the prospect of water flowing out of my sink tap, but I'm slightly mourning the loss of my bragging points. But, what can you do? Swallow pride and accept life's gifts? check.

In other news, we recently got some tile flooring installed! Apparently, an organization, TLCB, the Thai Lao Cambodian Brotherhood, felt pity for the paupers me and my roommate, and approved a request (not by us) to have some tiles installed. It feels nice on my feet, for sure, and I suppose this eradicates the perpetually dirty and rugged aesthetic of our cement flooring. I tell you, my neurosis really comes out when I'm cleaning. I feel like that robot from Wall-E, the one that is programmed to clear contamination. But there's a calming effect found in sweeping to be sure. This won't be the case with our pink (I believe this is the national color) marbled looking floor. Again, I feel slightly guilty because for this luxury I feel like I'm living in the Taj Mahal as a volunteer.

Aside from these digressions, what I really wanted to write about was this moment when my roommate and I were in Pattaya. I will be honest: I hated the city. It was the sinful underbelly of thailand, where Eastern Europeans galore exploit the city and enjoy the "company" of thai women escorts. nevermind the fact that they are bald, pale/ burnt, with burgeoning bellies threatening to rip their teeny speedos apart. the impotent exploiting white male--nonetheless my favorite source of metaphor. To escape Thai's sin city, my roommate and I decided to spend some time in Koh Larn, an island just off of the mainland. We did not escape tourism, sadly, though we encountered some turquoise water and white sand. However, we did encounter the divine-- no kidding. We hiked up a small steep mountain to explore a pagoda that you can see from the shore. A little more exploring, and we met a taciturn monk who happened to live there. He showed us a path to a set of stairs that took you to the summit of the mountain, and consequently a humbling, panoramic view of the island. The stairs were torture. Steep, craggy, and the incline was very unforgiving. A brief glimpse over your shoulder will send you reeling with fear. It felt like you could really fall. The descent was far worse. The steps were probably all you cared about. The monk sensed our primal fear (I made no subtleties about it) and even offered his hand for help (!!!). The trick to these stairs, really, is to focus on one step at a time, to deny the constant impulse of looking at the view, at least, in order to keep moving. However, the gaze to the spectacular view was necessary, only every once in a while, for inspiration.

I won't be so crude as to make this experience explicit as a metaphor for something. But it was a good exercise, after all, under the auspicious supervision of this quiet monk. It got me thinking on a lot of things.

A list

I realize that I must really write an account of my recent exploits, but instead I procrastinate and deliver instead, a list of books that I would love to read. Slash receive. Notice, conveniently, to the right, my mailing address. :)

The Anthologist

nicholson baker

Chronic City

jonathan lethem

A Gate at the Stairs

lorrie moore

Where You're At

Patrick Neate

Pops: life of louis armstrong

terry teachout

Some interesting week

Despite some rocky circumstances this week, I've managed to eke out some laughter, thanks to my students. I was teaching my third graders some colors and every time I show a flashcard of a particular color, they have to point to an object of the same coloring. So it happens that I show the card yellow, and this girl lifts up her skirt and points to her yellow underwear.

Wait, what? What did just happen? My thoughts exactly. I hadn't been shocked in a while, but this one definitely did. I asked her discreetly to put her skirt down and not to do again, but in my head I wasn't sure whether to bury my face and burst out laughing in the class. I would have been slapped by lawsuit after lawsuit had this happened in the United States. Oh. my. god.

I showed Wall-E to my students this week as a reward for doing well on their letters. That was pretty precious too.

A Month's Evaluation

Before I came to Thailand, people would ask if I had any goals in mind, some aspirations perhaps, to direct and shape my experience here. And for quite some time, I was stumped. True, I had these larger hopes to devote this experience sharing my knowledge, expanding the worlds of some 90 students, invoking a deeper interest in learning the language. And hopefully the work that I do here can have socio-economic implications too. Being able to access English can be huge here, especially for these kids whose families are mainly agrarian and whose hopes for better jobs are limited. However, these are somewhat abstract, and somewhat divorced from what I see everyday.

For goals that are more specific, I understood that it would take time. And now that I've had about two months here, after a hectic and packed orientation, some emotional, physical and psychological adjustment (which, I imagine would reach no discernible terminus), after about three weeks of teaching, I have some things in mind that I want to accomplish.

I realize, that given the design of my contract and the way that the Thai public education here is structured may not yield the most effective teaching and learning circumstances, I have a unique opportunity here to be creative, to be persistent, and to be patient. I have a unique opportunity to do something good every day. And while I have to continually adjust my expectations, I know, and understand now, that I can challenge these students every day.

More than anything, I feel that students here need structure. Right now, and for the next week, the schools in which I teach in, Na Bpong and Thai Samakee, are involved with their annual sports week. While I would normally endorse the investment on kids and sports, for the most part, the schools have no classes in preparation for this week-long competition. In fact, I am the only teacher holding classes as of right now, and when not in class, the students roam free around the campus, occasionally engaged in some form of fleeting organized activity. Thus, when I am teaching classes, I can tell that my kids are completely off of school-mode. They are frenzied. The only way that I can hold their attention and engagement is to have a pretty rigid lesson plan, where I go from topic to topic seamlessly, with a quick transition. Of course this does not always happen :)

Therefore, goal number one: is to provide students with structure, at least in my class. What I do in the classroom has to be intentional and deliberate and reeking with purpose. In my english class, random and chaos and neglect are big no no's . Of course, I expect the more than occasional anarchy from the students. But I want them to feel like someone is personally invested in what they do and what they learn.

In my daily lesson plans, there's a warm-up activity and a daily activity that kick-start the period. One of them is continually going over the ABC letters AND sounds. I have to review all the letters and sounds with everyone because they are continually mixed up, or they learn it by rote memorization and can only conjure the letters sequentially. But, really, they mean nothing to them. An A could very well be an R. And you have to realize, it's not their fault--most of the time, it's how they are taught. The "v" as I've mentioned before, does not really exist, or is really a "wee." It is, as I've mentioned to a friend, a phonetic equivalent of Mt. Everest or ... Mount Kilimanjaro. "l's" and "r's" are either mixed or blended. I understand that the "r" and "l" sounds will require some tongue muscle memory that will have need daily exercise, and I definitely understand that English is a difficult language to learn. So everyday is a milestone achieved. But this brings me to goal number two.

By the end of my service, I really hope to be able to have taught kids how to read, or to instill an intuition for reading. For students to be able to see a word, to be able to recognize and isolate the sounds, and eventually read the entire word and understand what it means will be a dream come true. It's a pretty empowering experience to encounter a set of symbols (signifiers, really) from a different culture and be able to read and access it. Furthermore, the ability to read and understand a word engages a form of critical thinking that Thai students are not used to--most of the time, teachers will teach how to read by spelling a word out loud (speeding through the letters) and then saying the word so the students can repeat it. The flaws of this method are immediate and overt. The only time that the students really need to know any word is from the second in which the teach pronounces the word to the second in which the student recalls the word. Also, saying the letters out loud aren't as effective as phonetically breaking a word to a syllable. So learning, most of the time, is complacent and passive. And then they get real bored--and while boredom can sometimes inspire a learner to find something challenging, here, they just don't have the kind of resources available that US students have privileged access to. It's saddening sometimes, to see students fighting over crayons or rulers or pencils because they just don't have them. I've brought in my own supplies, "stolen" some of the school's hidden pastel crayons, and used part of my stipend to buy things for them to remedy these daily reminders of inequality.

It's hard to imagine what kind of lasting and significant work I'll be doing. In terms of teaching the language, if i accomplish these two aforementioned goals, I will be more than ecstatic. But still, one can hope that my daily efforts are also small contributions to things that have larger implications to these kids. For some cases, and I know I have to accept this--probably not. But also, I will never really know the full extent of my work here. All I can do is try, and to try really hard-one day at a time, one letter at a time.

I will be frank, there are some frustrating things here: finding alcohol in the supplies cabinet, witnessing and hearing of corporal punishment, seeing Thai teachers get massages from their students, getting their hairs searched meticulously for grays or lice, a very unpredictable schedule, and so on. Dwelling on these negative things, however, can only prove to be obstructive. I have to believe every day, and to remind myself every day that these challenges are just incentives to try harder, and being a novice at this whole thing--I hope this optimism can last! I'm sure it will. Every day, the work pays off--sure, the gratifications are small, but they resonate deep. :)

Until the next long entry.

My Digs

Here is my roommate. Her name is Patricia. She is from Spain. I joke that our last names have been tied together by the history of Spain's bloody colonization, plundering, cultural raping of the Philippines for 400 years. I think she finds it funny?

Here's a first look of my room. I know--messy. And I didn't bother making my "bed" before taking this picture. However-story of my life, correct? I actually really like sleeping under my net, because for the most part, it's my fortress against all the terrors of the night (bugs, beetles, beasts). If anything, it keeps the gecko poo from getting on my bed. I like my gecko--he eats insects, but is completely devoid of toilet manners, or has no control of his bowel movement. So the net is much appreciated. I hear it also keeps mosquitoes away.

My first month in Thailand could be described in a lot of ways. One of them could be, "The Epic Search for Real Coffee." People here strongly favor instant coffee. Which is okay-- but not an entirely adequate substitute. Really, they come in packets. It's 50% sugar (not kidding), then coffee creamer, then coffee. All 5% of it. You can imagine my dismay. My bleary eyes every morning. My looming caffeine headache, only abated by the infinitesimal amount of coffee in instant packets. I don't want to go any further, but I think I almost pissed my pants when I realized that this press was just right under my nose in the Indochine market. The only other problem was finding the actual beans--they do exist, in a small, easy to miss section of the superstore. Most of them are made with robusta beans. My arabica bean coffee in Thailand is a sure luxury. And since I don't have many, I have no qualms splurging for a daily necessity. I think I'm actually nicer to people now... Either way, here is my tiny savior in the morning, on my makeshift dining table/stove top table....

This is the view from my balcony. Yes--another unexpected luxury. But really, it's not very wide. We live right off of a main highway, with a slight detour into a dirt road, nestled within a nook of other houses. The house that you can see is our neighbor's, whose kind and generous heart has supplied my roommate and I with bath water since either the ground water has run out (and needs replenishing from the rain... but... the rainy season is over...) or the machine that pumps it is broken. Either way, each day that I survive without running water the universe is compensating me with good karma ... somewhere.

This is my kitchen sink, located in the back of the house. I didn't even have this during my first week at all, and we had to "wash dishes in the jungle" as they call it here. Really it's just a lot of trees and wild grass. At any rate, our dishes are now cleaned with water that is in that huge cement jug every single day. Yup. I no running water = badass = good karma. Also, please note that there is no plumbing system. our soap water is, merely diverted by the pvc tubes to the other side of the house. Somehow, I think this is a really bad idea, but what can we do, right?

This is my room. It has wooden floors, white walls (again I need some art here) and a high ceiling. You can see that I've put up a wall of pictures of family and friends. I look at it every day and think of you all back home, and miss you dearly. It's also helping me survive here thus far, so thank you.

Here is my "bathroom." It's more like a closet, with a squatty potty right in the middle, a tub of water for flushing down the toilet, a bucket for showering. That shower head bends to the laws of physics, ergo, it does not work... The spigot, which is what Thais use instead of toilet paper, has better water pressure. When we had running water I used it to wash my hair.... Also, did I mention our door does not lock? My roommate and I have established a ground rule: if the door is closed, wander no further.

Here lies my kitchen sink for the first week of moving into my house.

My home! It's painted light green and it makes me really happy! It's not very big, but spacious enough for two people and I like it.

This is what the bottom area looks like. Yup. quite bare. Please send me some art over here, the inside is impoverished of color, except of course from our plastic chairs. Those two tables are really all we have--and we park our bikes inside the house. The living room doesn't get much "living" really, and I hope to amend this dilemma soon. But, check out those cement floors, yes! It's permadusty from outside. I'm okay with that--it means you can't see the dead bugs on the floor as easily, and here in Thailand bugs come a plenty...

I need to dedicate an entire entry to my school experience so far. My student collage includes all of my students, and I took pictures of them to remember their names. Needless to say, I'm having a lot of fun and I am just so busy all the time. So far so good-- and next week I'll be going to Surin for an elephant festival. Cross fingers I get to ride one...

We like to have fun. Sometimes.

Click here to view these pictures larger

OH YES I DID.

mmhmm. I fed a baby elephant today. jealous?

On Luck and Luxuries

It's quite strange being a volunteer here and being treated like somewhat of a celebrity. We've been introduced in a local radio show. We met the governors and directors and the movers and shakers in town. We've been on tv. Apparently three times? It's really quite embarrassing though. Apparently, the letter "v" in thailand is near obsolete, and r's and l's blend. I try to enunciate my name and say it really slowly, but the tv host (who has a spray of white hairs sprouting out of the mole in his neck) just butchered it like crazy:

"My name is Val-er-ie."

"DHALERAA?"

"Valerie."

"RAROLEE?"

I gave up. However, I should consider myself lucky because it wasn't nearly as bad as this one other volunteer. We have thai nicknames (mine is Mapao. It's "coconut" in Thai) and this volunteer's nickname is "Tukata" which translates to dollface. However, she was still struggling a little bit at the time on the correct pronunciation, so when she introduced herself, the Thais got really confused as to why she would christen herself with the name, "The Insect." I helped out with the correction. But, I'm on the periphery of the video, clearly about to pee my pants from laughing for a good minute. I should have displayed more decorum. But oh well.

Today, I had my first Thai massage. Mostly because I thought I was going to get to nap for an hour and a half in an airconditioned room. FALSE. No airconditioning. And the massage was not for the faint of heart--this little old Thai woman packed a punch in her forearms and her teeny fingers. At some points I didn't know whether to laugh or howl out loud in pain. However, i think it was ten dollars well spent.

What else? LAst night, we got to tour the night market in the city, armed with 50 bhat, which is basically $1.60. It's basically a closed off street where you can get food of all sorts, from the extremely palatable to the slightly questionable. But. OMFG. I thought I had died and gone to heavennn. I got two empanadas with palm sugar inside, barbecued pork, rice, some vegetable entree, and a coconut pie. All for a dollar sixty. I think I might just gorge myself with tasty pastries here for the next 11 months, thank you.

My highlights of the week:
Visiting a silk factory and this one spot where they produce Thai musical instruments.
Winning a Laotian silver bracelet that's supposed to bring me luck.
Visiting a Buddhist Temple and getting to pray with incense and lotus flowers.
Going on my first run with a buddy.
Laughing every single day.

Overall I think orientation is going well. We're learning a lot every day and I'm getting to know the other volunteers quite well, especially since 8 of us girls are crammed into one room. After my initial scare, I think I'll be okay for now. Thank you for your emails. I prayed about how I'm thankful for my friends and family.

Temples and Trees

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Pictures!

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Week One.

I've been trying to figure out a way to initiate my first emails of many. How do you begin to describe a new phase in your life? I wish I could say that I'm armed with feelings of affirmation and adventure. But I think the heat and the humidity just make my brain hazy and initially my perspectives of coming here dissolve. When I stepped into Thailand, and saw Nakhon Phanom for the first time, I couldn't figure out what I was feeling all at one. An uncategorical composite of fear, apprehension, misgiving, shock, homesickness. I wish I could say that I'm glowing underneath the rays of the Thai sun. Instead, I'm perpetually sweaty, sticky, greasy, and perhaps now a walking paradise for flying invertebrates.

I knew that I didn't have much expectations coming here; however I stand corrected because I must have been expecting something else, perhaps? I have to be honest, I did freak out once I saw my living quarters with a roommate. Right now, it's a shell of a house. A concrete floor. Something that resembles a bathroom with a squatter toilet. Unfurnished. Dirty. I am reminded every day that this is a very poor province, and that what I have right now (and have had) are luxuries most of these people have never even dreamed of. And at that point, it makes me ashamed that I'm feeling all these emotions of misgiving and doubt.

I met the students and teachers of both the elementary schools these past few days. On the first day of touring the village schools, we emerge out of a van hot and cranky for being crammed with nine other people. However, seeing all these school children really, really pulled my heartstrings. I think for that moment my anxieties dissipated. I think it will be really nice to have living reminders every day of why I had wanted to be a part of this project. I had wanted it to be a selfless year. I guess I just didn't expect the adjustment period to have turned out as it has been so far.

Now, the funny parts. Taking a shower without warm water in the morning is like being a feral cat coerced into bathing for the first time. Mostly, funny moments are centered around bugs. Like a cricket prying its way into my ear at night. A cicada landing on my friend's face while sleeping who then lets out a blood curdling scream. I only say this because it's funny in retrospect. While it's difficult finding the humor in my own traumatic encounters with strange bugs, I have no problem laughing at the misfortunes of others. But then again, I pay all the karmic debt I incur by getting dyspepia from all the spicy food we've been eating.

They call this place a Land of Smiles for a reason. People are very friendly, and so is the landscape. It's all lush, verdant, and green. Which makes up for the fact that I could probably fry an egg or two on my face. Or, so hot, that I discovered that your butt actually sweats. Who knew.

Right now, I'm still grasping the idea that I have a crazy new job. But I'm very grateful that I was able to come here, and that I've rapidly made a family out of the other volunteers here with me. And that I've been privileged enough in life to have come here to teach.

Next post, I promise to give more details about my living accommodations. Let's just say I will be very close with the other volunteers by the time orientation is over :)

okay. I'm here and I'm alive.

post coming recapitulating my first week. coming very soon.

Hello, and welcome!

I am writing to ask for your support with a project I’ve become involved with and is very important to me. As of October 2009, I will be traveling to Thailand to teach in schools which do not have enough teachers.

The reasons for this pursuit are as follows:

1. I am looking for an endeavor after college that is simultaneously rigorous, challenging, consequential, and enlightening.

2. I am looking for a learning experience that extends beyond the realms of academia and is congruent with one of my strongest beliefs—that education offers empowerment and opportunity--in the forms of social mobility, a chance for better education, and hopefully a chance for a better future. Raised in the Philippines, I learned English as a second language which has given me the aforementioned opportunities. I hope to play a role in affording the same possibilities for Thai school children and I believe WorldTeach is the program that embodies what I am looking for and will allow me to pursue a project that has social consequence.

You are most likely familiar with the political and economic crises that currently grip Thailand. The country has faced a violent insurgency, a catastrophic tsunami in December, a military coup, mass demonstrations, and a stagnating economy just within the past two years. Unfortunately these larger, national turmoil obscures other dilemmas such as an educational system beset with its own problems of inequality, inadequate resources, and a lack of qualified teachers.

I am assigned to teach in the Nakhon Phanom province in the Isan area of Thailand, which is known to be the poorest, least developed area of the country. The standard of education is comparatively very low, and government funding for rural village schools is at bare minimum. It is the objective of WorldTeach to help the rural and city schools of this province to reach a higher standard in order to give the students of these schools a chance for a better future.

During my year-long stay in Thailand, I will receive a small living allowance from my school, enough to cover my expenses while I serve as a teacher for the year. However, the cost of my placement, training, air travel, insurance, and field support amounts to $5000.Trying to raise this much money single-handedly is very daunting, especially given the sordid state of our economy. Therefore, a donation from you will help make it possible for me to contribute what I have to offer to the elementary students in Thailand.

Please note that this donating through Paypal is very secure!

Thank you for your time and consideration and for helping make this experience possible for me.

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