Week One.

I've been trying to figure out a way to initiate my first emails of many. How do you begin to describe a new phase in your life? I wish I could say that I'm armed with feelings of affirmation and adventure. But I think the heat and the humidity just make my brain hazy and initially my perspectives of coming here dissolve. When I stepped into Thailand, and saw Nakhon Phanom for the first time, I couldn't figure out what I was feeling all at one. An uncategorical composite of fear, apprehension, misgiving, shock, homesickness. I wish I could say that I'm glowing underneath the rays of the Thai sun. Instead, I'm perpetually sweaty, sticky, greasy, and perhaps now a walking paradise for flying invertebrates.

I knew that I didn't have much expectations coming here; however I stand corrected because I must have been expecting something else, perhaps? I have to be honest, I did freak out once I saw my living quarters with a roommate. Right now, it's a shell of a house. A concrete floor. Something that resembles a bathroom with a squatter toilet. Unfurnished. Dirty. I am reminded every day that this is a very poor province, and that what I have right now (and have had) are luxuries most of these people have never even dreamed of. And at that point, it makes me ashamed that I'm feeling all these emotions of misgiving and doubt.

I met the students and teachers of both the elementary schools these past few days. On the first day of touring the village schools, we emerge out of a van hot and cranky for being crammed with nine other people. However, seeing all these school children really, really pulled my heartstrings. I think for that moment my anxieties dissipated. I think it will be really nice to have living reminders every day of why I had wanted to be a part of this project. I had wanted it to be a selfless year. I guess I just didn't expect the adjustment period to have turned out as it has been so far.

Now, the funny parts. Taking a shower without warm water in the morning is like being a feral cat coerced into bathing for the first time. Mostly, funny moments are centered around bugs. Like a cricket prying its way into my ear at night. A cicada landing on my friend's face while sleeping who then lets out a blood curdling scream. I only say this because it's funny in retrospect. While it's difficult finding the humor in my own traumatic encounters with strange bugs, I have no problem laughing at the misfortunes of others. But then again, I pay all the karmic debt I incur by getting dyspepia from all the spicy food we've been eating.

They call this place a Land of Smiles for a reason. People are very friendly, and so is the landscape. It's all lush, verdant, and green. Which makes up for the fact that I could probably fry an egg or two on my face. Or, so hot, that I discovered that your butt actually sweats. Who knew.

Right now, I'm still grasping the idea that I have a crazy new job. But I'm very grateful that I was able to come here, and that I've rapidly made a family out of the other volunteers here with me. And that I've been privileged enough in life to have come here to teach.

Next post, I promise to give more details about my living accommodations. Let's just say I will be very close with the other volunteers by the time orientation is over :)