The Top Ten Things We Love About Isan (and then some)

The other volunteers and I tossed around ideas for a WorldTeach t-shirt for a good two weeks. We all have at least a thing or two that we love about Thailand, particularly our home, the Isan region, so we pooled our suggestions and our Top Ten list came forth. This blog post will attempt to illuminate and give context to these well-loved idiosyncrasies, so when you might eventually see me parading this shirt around you might have some idea what we're talking about. (Warning, this post might be a little long).

1. Lizards as roommates

If you're part of my loyal readership (bless your heart!) then you might be familiar with another roommate of mine, Fitz, who is a sizable pitbull gecko who nearly gave me heart attacks the first time I heard his mating calls. Well now, there's at least two Fitzes in my house, and our daily encounters are composed of glances of civility, knowing that we irreverently trespass each others' territories all the time.

2. Activating

One cannot, will not, survive the hot season of Thailand (with daily temperatures reaching over a hundred degrees) without cooling powder. Say what? Cooling powder, is all the magic of the universe combined, the stuff dreams are made of. It is best to apply it when you're a little sweaty, and wait... for the moment of blissful activation, when the powder suddenly cools you off and the sensation is just inexplicable. Be wary of your activation times however, for a little side effect is loss of control over your facial expression.

3. Drinking beer with ice

With American culture in mind, there are many faux pas in Thailand. One of them, and probably the most egregious, is drinking beer with ice. I still cringe inside when my glass of beer gets a hefty ice cube or two, but since it is just so hot here, everything goes tepid to warm very rapidly. And you know what, I will pick the lesser evil and drink slightly diluted beer (oh boy, more the reason to drink it quickly) than have warm beer when it's hot outside.

4. Even if no one else texts you, Happy will

Imagine days going by with no one dropping a line to say hi. Doesn't that feel so lonely? Doesn't that feel so empty? Doesn't your heart feel like one giant vacuum? Well, luckily enough, if you live in Thailand and subscribe to DTAC Happy for your cellphone minutes, every day Happy will check in on you, just to say how much credit you have left. If you're even luckier, you will get a random phone call complete in incomprehensible Thai!

5. You’re on Thai Time now

After all my months here in Thailand, I look at America and I am so utterly impressed how every thing is in order, and most every thing will come into fruition as expected. I am not sure if the other countries in the world are also order-centric, because Thailand sure isn't! When you have any sort of appointment, expect it to start very late, or much too ungodly early.

6. Go spicy or go home

Isan loves everything spicy. So for the unfortunate bearing blander tongues, Isan will tell you to go back home. Dishes just aren't the same without your lips proudly wearing the after-sting of peppers like a badge of honor.

7. The spigot

I will have you know, that this is my personal favorite. It isn't particular to Isan, but it is where I encountered it for the first time and I will miss it terribly. Spigot, you ask? Well, you know the dishwashing hoses American kitchens are equipped with? Well, you will find these things, in our bathrooms here, a Thai equivalent to the French bidet. Of course your privates get hot too! They deserve a little shower every now and then, and it wonderfully doubles to clean you as well.

8. Six people on a motorcycle

I should qualify this-- six people on a motorcycle, plus a poodle in the front basket. In my 23 years of living, I have only witnessed this circus balancing act here in Thailand. It must run in the genes.

9. Insects aren’t just bugs, they’re snacks

One of my best nights out in Thailand ended with a bag of deep fried crickets. In lieu of my favorite munchies, curly fries, a bag of crickets satisfied my deep fried craving for the night. I also dedicated a blog entry chronicling my unconventional fast food experience with cicadas. Ah, Isan! You will only be the place I know which sprinkles in red ant eggs as the certain, je ne sais quois in an omelet.

10. When in doubt: "Mai pen rai"

I am so surprised that I haven't written about the quintessential, all-encompassing maxim that rules the Thai lifestyle. It literally translates to "nevermind," but the English counterpart so imperfectly captures the meaning. Mai pen rai can replace "you're welcome" (as in, "no problem at all"). It can be an apt response to something trite, like getting picked up too late, or to other things more profound. It can be used to ease confrontation and tension, or as an affirmation of hospitality and community. I'm sure I'm leaving out lots of other hypothetical circumstances, so the saying holds true: when in doubt, "mai pen rai."

A runner-up: khao niaw

I will always think of Isan whenever I see sticky rice. For all the sticky-rice virgins reading this post, may your first experience be an informed one: may I never see you try to eat sticky rice with any eating utensils but your God-given fingers. Take a piece and roll into a ball. Hum "sep lai" under your breath and you will commune in spirit with the amazing people of Isan.

Writing this post just enhances my love for this place. May this serve as an endorsement to all who might be visiting Thailand!