Travel Excerpts: Between a Rock and a Hard Place

"The next day, Haley and I set out to do the activity that pull rock-climbing travelers from all over the world to Railay. Its limestone formations seem to have been created for this specific purpose, aside from inspiring spontaneous haikus of course. I was an absolute rookie at rock climbing, and carry the misfortune of also possessing a nauseating fear of heights (this trip I have tried to challenge many fears, though not without much whining that would make a 4 year old blush). With clammy hands and an inextricable knot in the gut, I spared no time in revealing myself as a bumbling, clumsy neophyte.

We had to walk through the barnacled rocks first, and dare I say they looked on ominously. I got super terrified after a bloody scrape, hoping that the accident wasn't portending anything. Our guide, Mon, was tiny, muscled and agile, and next to his lithe and grace I looked like a toddler's clay imitation of man. Upon arriving at Railay East, we found our wall, already busy with plenty of climbers, potential spectators of my near impending failures.

When it was my turn to climb, after checking and rechecking the knots to make sure they were knots and I wasn't imagining them, I was surprised at my relative tolerance of heights. Probably because I was concentrating too hard on holding on. At times, I could feel the panic surge and I would clutch on for dear life, with my toes wedged on the tiniest cracks. I would think: "DEAR LORD WHAT POSSESSED ME TO SIGN UP FOR THIS I'M GOING TO DIE WHAT WOULD THEY TELL MY MOM," fully aware of the support of the harness.

Mon was more than happy to provide instruction when I was stuck between a rock and a hard place (cheeeesy and shameless plug of figurative speech, I know..) although at times I felt like screaming obscenities out loud, when he would make suggestions that sounded near condescending when you're suspended for what seemed like 50 feet. "YOU WANT ME TO PUT MY FEET WHERE? HOW? LOOK WHERE? BEING A CONTORTIONIST IS NOT MY DAY JOB!"

Needless to say, this "Beginning Class" didn't really feel like beginning at all; he just gave us the (relatively) easiest walls to climb, but didn't really explain technique or elaborate on safety measures. He was still really great though, because god knows that for all the grating whinings I did that day he still seemed pretty cheerful and encouraging (a fine mixture of the mai pen rai lifestyle, compounded with easy going Rasta man attitude towards the universe).

Despite my shortcomings, of which I wholly attribute to being a novice (and okay, being deathly out of shape), I actually really enjoyed myself. The moments where my fear of heights dissipated were moments of personal triumph. The experience became both a challenge and an opportunity, and also the sole reason for unbelievable and ungodly soreness for the subsequent week."